There seems to me to be a paradox in good leadership, a blend of vulnerability and courage against all odds. There always seems to be so much at stake, the things you are on about are way bigger than yourself and your humanity is always going to be exposed. But maybe that is how trust is built, that’s how change happens and teams are built. Brene Brown says, “Vulnerability is the absolute heartbeat of innovation and creativity, there can be zero innovation without vulnerability.” I think that’s so true.
But the shadow side is that many enter leadership and find that they cannot be vulnerable, cannot admit weakness and wrong. Jungian analyst James Hollis writes, “How many of those who are insecure seek power over others as a compensation for inadequacy and wind up bringing consequences down upon their heads and those around them? How many hide out in their lives, resist the summons to show up, or live fugitive lives, jealous, projecting onto others, and then wonder why nothing ever really feels quite right. How many proffer compliance with the other, buying peace at the price of soul, and wind up with neither?” Hauntings: Dispelling the Ghosts Who Run Our Lives
By far the greatest joy for me in leadership was being mentored by a good leader and then inheriting a wonderful team of people to lead who allowed space for vulnerability. I have said it often, that despite the fact that there are difficult and even lonely moments in leadership, it should not and does not have to be lonely at the top. And if it is, you need to be willing to ask why.