However, of late I think much more about what parts of their characters or personalities I did inherit. Who am I more like? My mom or my dad? I would like to think that I got the best of both of their characters but somehow this is unlikely to be the case. We read this piece by Frederick Buechner the other day and it had such the ring of truth about it. As you get older you try to see the patterns in family, the similarities and differences as to how our lives have come to be what they are thus far. And without a doubt at least some of what played into that are those traits we inherited from our parents, for better and worse.
“It is so easy to sum up other people's lives, . . . and necessary too, of course, especially our parents' lives. It is a way of reducing their giant figures to a size we can manage, I suppose, a way of getting even maybe, of getting on, of saying goodbye. The day will come when somebody tries to sum you up the same way and also me. Tell me about old Buechner then. What was he really like? What made him tick? How did his story go? Well, you see, this happened and then that happened, and then that, and that is why he became thus and so, and why when all is said and done it is not so hard to understand why things turned out for him as they finally did. Is there any truth at all in the patterns we think we see, the explanations and insights that fall so readily from our tongues? Who knows. The main thing that leads me to believe that what I've said about my mother has at least a kind of partial truth is that I know at first hand that it is true of the mother who lives on in me and will always be part of who I am.”