I have no idea how we first came upon the writing of Frederick Buechner, but that ‘chance’ meeting led to a shelf full of his books and books about him. From the very first words, there was a depth and wisdom that went on to satisfy and challenge, book after book, sermon after sermon and essay after essay. Buechner taught us how to live with ambiguity, with the grey, with the mystery. For Buechner, to choose the way of Jesus is a fool’s choice and yet the same choice that is made over and over again, each day, each year. Clowns for Christ, willing to laugh the holy laughter that can only come from the deep places in the heart.
I’m not quite sure what one is supposed to feel when one’s all time favorite author/mentor crosses to the other side. It’s not sadness. It seems to me that he has given so much of himself in 40 books, thousands of words, a true and faithful steward of words at a time when words are so important. To me he will remain so very much alive. I am so grateful for the space he was able to carve out for fools such as I, space in the fog of doubt and uncertainty of belief, all the while making it safe because God was beyond all that.
I feel a bit like a teen at a rock concert hoping the pop star might throw me a glance or some free swag, but I once shook Frederick Buechner’s hand. It went like this. He was speaking at Calvin University’s Writer’s Festival and as the panel came to an end, I sensed that Buechner was going to duck out quickly through a side entrance. The panel, like an earlier talk had not gone so well. In fact, it was sort of disappointing to hear him speak. It’s a cliché to say he writes better than he speaks. I too left the auditorium just as he did and together, we walked the length of the corridor. He said about the panel, something like, “That was about as much fun as poking yourself in the eye.” I then told him how much his writing meant to me. He thanked me and we went our separate ways. Sort of.
Buechner is one of those artists that is too ‘Christian’ for secular culture and not ‘Christian’ enough for the Christian subculture. Always living and writing in the twilight zone. The image and words above were on the wall in my office at school for many years and now close to my desk at home. I would regularly put Buechner out there to staff, students and parents because he spoke so deeply to me and I wanted to share him. I do mourn the passing of Frederick Buechner. I am so deeply grateful for his life’s work. Yes, we have lost someone dear. But in his own words, “What’s lost is nothing to what’s found, and all the death that ever was, set next to life, would scarcely fill a cup.”